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The Offices of Drivel, Claptrap, Piffle, Bunkum and Tripe

Wedded Blitz

1/31/2013

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        I've been enjoying a new blog titled THE TWO YEAR ENGAGEMENT (An Unsuccessful Attempt at Planning a Wedding Without Going Crazy). It is written by a young lady I've known since she was a little girl. I love her enthusiasm and hope for her sake that any crazy that comes her way is the good, fun kind to have.
        Reading Rachel's blog got me to thinking how things have changed in the 33 years since I was planning my own nuptials. Of course, a wedding is only as complicated as you make it, and more is not always better. I liken a big elaborate wedding to a car with every dealer upgrade imaginable; the more bells and whistles, the more stuff is going to break down. And no matter how organized and detailed and "on top of things" the bride and her mother are, those traits don't necessarily extend to the army of people paid or enslaved to help make a wedding happen. Take a gander below at this wedding day itinerary my young Aggie friend whomped together (see blog dated 10/21/13). It was included in the goodie bag (goodie bags! <smacks forehead>) we were given when we checked into the hotel:

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 30th

10:00 am    Boys to arrive at Top Golf for golfing
11:00 am    Bridesmaids to Presidential Suite (lunch will be provided)
12:00 pm    Hair appointments begin for bride, bridesmaids, moms, flower girl and grandmothers
 1:30 pm    Groomsmen, ushers and father of the bride and groom to hotel to get ready, and gift exchange
 2:15 pm    Makeup appointments begin for bride, bridesmaids, moms, flower girl and grandmothers
 4:15 pm    Groom's immediate family to arrive at hotel for pre-ceremony pictures                           
 4:30 pm    All ladies' appointments finished

It went on in this fashion in 15 minute intervals until:

 5:30 pm    The shuttle bus and limo to arrive at hotel for transfer to the church (the limo service contact info was provided in case there was a problem, and there was a list of who rode in what vehicle)
 5:45 pm    Depart from hotel
 7:30 pm    Ceremony begins
 8:30 pm    Ceremony ends (here, there was a list of folks who were supposed to stay for photos
)
 8:50 pm    Cocktail hour begins
 9:45 pm    Ballroom doors open, introductions, seated dinner and dance
 1:15 am    Bride and groom make their exit and reception concludes

        Personally, I LOVED the itinerary. I suppose some people would think this a little over the top, but I thought it was a marvelous idea. Still and all, it got me to wondering what happens when a bride with even slight OCD tendencies chooses for her honor attendant a friend whose personal clock is permanently set to island time.
        My honor attendant was actually my matron of honor. The only things I required of her, and she of me when I served as her maid of honor, were: a bridal shower, holding the bouquet during the vows, not losing the hubby-to-be's ring, straightening out the train for the recessional, and then general things like not tripping or fainting in front of the congregation. The best man had it even easier: don't lose the ring, and show up sober. (The same could also be said of the groom.) These days, it is appalling what some honor attendants are expected to do. One website I checked included helping to clean up the reception venue! That is taking the "maid" part way too seriously.
        One aspect of Rachel's blog dealt with how she asked her attendants to be there for her on her special day. It seems modern brides decorate baskets or boxes and fill them with treats and small personal or wedding-related items. Here's Rachel's basket to her maid of honor:
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Nope, no cleaning supplies here.
If this had been the norm in 1980, I would have panicked because I cannot put something together in my head. I envy friends who can take an empty room and envision the possibilities; I just see an empty room. It's the same when I shop for clothes: I cannot pull a skirt from one rack, a blouse from another, a belt and scarf off a shelf, and voila! a fashionable ensemble. If being a bride had meant getting out the scissors and glue, I would have done what my practical father suggested: elope and then, with the money saved, put a down payment on a house. Fortunately, all I had to do was pick up the phone and ask. Cheap and easy, just like moi.   
        For years, magazines like Southern Living made ordinary housewives feel like colossal failures when their Thanksgiving table looked more like...
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...this (note the bacon on the turkey!)...
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...than this.
Then Martha Stewart came along to show us how we will never be better than her; I mean, the woman has spent time in prison, something I have not managed to do yet. Now we have the Internet to continue this tradition of failure AND overwhelm us with sheer numbers. The Internet, Pinterest specifically, is insidious because it tempts us with the notion that if we only look long enough (hours? days?), somewhere out there in the vast cyberverse is something better. We think: if this is good, then surely better is lurking around the corner. And then when we find better, surely there's mo' bettah. There are accounts of people who, in their quest for that perfect idea, have physically attacked their computers, circuits blown, and raving like loons. I know this to be true because it happened to me. You can download a video file of that awful day, but be forewarned, it is not a pretty sight:     
prunellas_meltdown.gif
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        I haven't been on Pinterest in a long while. The novelty quickly wore off, but not until I had created several boards, one with wedding ideas. What mother of a daughter hasn't dreamed of her little girl's wedding, even when the "bride" is sporting saggy diapers and a dirty face? Here are a few things I pinned to this board:
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Left: I don't like strapless wedding gowns. This is a nice compromise. And the blush color is gorgeous. Middle: I pinned this invitation because I thought the caligraphy was so pretty. Then I noticed the couple was married in MY church! Weird. Right: Love the subtle colors in the bouquet.
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        Yet, no matter how much things change from one generation to the next, there is one thing no bride can do without: the groom!

Love, honor and hot glue,

Prunella

Credits
Basket: http://the2yearengagement.wordpress.com/
Table setting #1: http://www.theredneckhippie.com/2011_11_01_archive.html
Table setting #2: http://www.napkinwizard.com/2011/11/21/give-thanks-in-style-with-an-elegant-thanksgiving-table/
Bride: http://www.taraguerardsoiree.com/2011/05/04/wedding-wednesday-le-spose-di-gio/
Invitation: http://ohsobeautifulpaper.com/2011/07/amy-blakes-classic-black-and-white-letterpress-wedding-invitations/
Bouquet: http://thefullbouquetblog.com/
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Another Potpourri

1/27/2013

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        I don't know how those other bloggers do it. They never seem to run out of stuff to write about, while I struggle to find something, anything, to share with my reader(s). When I started this blog, it was never my intention to comment on the news of the day. I hate politics, and the last time I glued myself to the news channels was on September 11, 2001. (Before that it was Princess Diana's death.) I didn't even watch coverage of the Newtown, CT shootings. It's not that I didn't care, but I don't like wallowing in images of tragedy and personal suffering. Besides, there are enough talking heads and writers and celebrities giving their views on everything from Obamacare to gun control to the Kardashians that you don't need my perspective.
        Still and all, I sometimes wonder if I should change tactics and become another pundit for the sake of getting more blogs written.
        So, I'm back to a little of this, a little of that just so the first month of 2013 doesn't pass me by.
        Let's see...Richard and I are in the middle of our annual new year's diet. He is doing much better than me. We don't own a bathroom scale, so it's hard to judge how many pounds we've lost, but the clothes are a tad looser and the mirror is a bit more forgiving. The reason we don't own a bathroom scale is because a certain little girl discovered how much fun it was to jump up and down on the old one and watch the numbers swing wildly. She broke it and I never bothered to replace it.
        That little girl is all grown up, now, of course. She cut her winter holiday short and drove back to Lubbock and Texas Tech on January 2, a full two weeks before classes started. Part of me was glad to see her go, while another part was slightly insulted. But she's happy with her life out on the west Texas plains, and we're happy our money is happy, so everyone is happy and it's all good.
        By contrast, my 2nd Lt. hates southwest Oklahoma and finds any excuse to come home. He won't even take the time to change out of his uniform, and arrives on our doorstep in camos and boots. I keep telling him to bloom where he's planted, but it seems the soil must be very poor in Lawton. This coming weekend he is heading to Lubbock to visit his sister. It's going to be interesting to see how this Aggie military man fits in with the frat scene at Tech.
        Richard and I are going through college football withdrawal. We suffer through this every year, even when we are coming off a complete stinker of an Aggie football season, but it's worse this time. This past season was one for the ages: an 11 - 2 record, a Heisman Trophy winner, bragging rights over Alabama, a statement win over Oklahoma in the Cotton Bowl, and finishing out in the top five in the football polls. It doesn't get much better than that. Speaking of the Cotton Bowl, check out some pictures below:
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Cowboys Stadium. Hate the team, love their stadium.
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This is how you keep warm at a tailgate.
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Vintage! The SWC days were a lot of fun. I miss them!
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It's not like tailgating at A&M, but it was fun.
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My son with his band of Aggie Band brothers.
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The Aggie men in my life. Notice the girl on the video screen aiming to be Mrs. Manziel.
        My women's club had their annual fundraiser, Pistols and Pearls, earlier this month. The money raised is used to fund scholarships at J. J. Pearce High School. Besides an amazing live and silent auction, and fantastic BBQ provided by Woody B's (their smoked salmon is to die for, and I'm not partial to salmon), we played several rounds of that old stand-by, Bingo. My friend, Juliana, who was sitting across from me won the last game, the black-out version, with a $500.00 cash prize. I told her later that it was very unfair of the Bingo Fairy not to flick a little of her Bingo dust my way, while she was busy hovering over Juliana and dousing her.
        Back in December, my husband's company held their annual holiday party. We (whoopee) won a $25.00 gift certificate to a local restaurant. Because it's considered income, paltry as it may be, Richard had $5.00 withheld from his paycheck to pay taxes on the damn thing. In light of that, I was glad we didn't win the iPad they raffled off that night. The gubmint sure takes the fun out of things.
        My grandcat, Tito Paquito, survived his first semester living with four sorority girls. And it seems they've managed to keep him under the radar. My daughter loves cats but is not too partial to Teets, calling him a name not suitable for printing in a family-oriented publication. Here's his latest mugshot:
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Teets, aka &%@*!. Apparently he can drive, and drive backwards.
        We had a wonderful visit with Mitch and his lovely girlfriend, Courtney. They are still in the midst of a long-distance romance (Dallas/Denver), but they seem to be dealing with it with good grace. We met them last night at a local Mexican restaurant, Casa Milagro, for 'ritas and 'tizers. It was nice to be able to sit down, just the four of us, and talk and visit and get to know Courtney a bit better. After they left to meet friends for dinner, Richard got a little emotional, probably a side effect of one too many drinks, and said how much he liked her and hoped it all worked out for them. Me, I hope it works out before they both go broke from paying for plane fares.
        And what do you know, another blog written. Hooray for me!

Prunella

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