I get a kick out of reading the comments people post on the Interwebs. They range from rotflmao funny to infuriating; from well-thought-out to I'm-embarrassed-for-you.
My husband and I don't like being force fed the stories the FOX or CNN pundits think we should digest, so unless there is something truly riveting going on, like someone seeing the Virgin Mary in their limburger, we prefer to pick and choose our current events online. For me, the comments at the bottom of the articles are an added bonus.
Sometimes reading these comments makes me despair, to the point of feeling guilty, that I brought innocent children into this world. The spew of hatred and bigotry is bad enough, but what really makes me cringe is the shocking number of commentators who cant spel, dont know no grammer and! have, never herd? "of punktooashun?). Other times it is gratifying to see how united we are given the fractures of politics, religion and race.
Typically, the more offbeat the news is, the more entertaining the comments are likely to be; or, if you want to get all scientific-like about it: the entertainment factor is directly proportional to the whackadoodleness of the news. Being blessed (or cursed, depends on your perspective) with a warped sense of humor, I'm drawn to the offbeat and weird, anyway.
Today, the Interwebs was agoogle over a woman who got herself tased (tasered?) at a McDonald's drive-thru. According to reports, she cut in front of the line by bypassing the order station and the first window where payments are made. When restaurant employees declined to serve her and requested that she go to the back of the line, the woman refused to move and blocked the drive-thru for 20 minutes until the police arrived. She was described as "defiant" and "threatening" to law enforcement. The sad part is her young daughter was with her and apparently witnessed her mother getting tased and "flopping like a fish" out of the car. Below is a sampling of some of the hundreds of comments left by readers:
Billions and billions served and 1 not.
I cannot wait to see what Jack in the Box does with this in their next commercial.
I'm loving it!
You want FRIED wit dat?
I hope the judge super sizes her sentence.
Show no taste and that's what you get.
There was another story about a young man who decided to give up all electronic communication for 90 days: email, Facebook, Twitter, texting, even his cell phone. He called it The Amish Project. Here's one comment on that story written exactly as it appeared, comma for comma:
i am glad i lived thru the good old days,i had no clue that people are so emty inside ,and think that everyone wants to know that they are shopping at publix ,or what they are wearing ,and gossip ,i even see them texting at church service,so sad no one interacts with one another anymore ,i have friends like that ,you go to dinner there texting under the table,to let them know where there at,take those cellphone from them ,and the psychiatrists offices would be booming,dont you agree ? well if you are in your teens you wont agree.................
The above is just plain scary, but it still amused me that the writer could spell psychiatrists correctly....don't you agree?
A researcher in London, a biomedical gerontologist named Aubrey de Grey, states that if his predictions are accurate, the first person to reach 150 years of age has already been born. If that doesn't rock your boat, he also goes on to say that the first person to live 1,000 years will arrive in another two decades. De Grey believes that science is on the verge of bringing aging "under a decisive level of medical control". Just like cars, people will go in for routine maintenance that will extend their lives indefinitely. My first thought was: Damn, I've been ripped off.
But seriously, what are the benefits of living to 150? Living to 1,000 is so extreme, I can't even work my brain around it. Here is a sampling of comments, some funny, some just silly, some very thought-provoking:
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Will this be covered under Obamacare?
My wife says if I don't straighten up my act, I won't even live to see Christmas.
What's the point of having children if you can live to 1,000?
Will Social Security pay for 930 years of retirement?
This means the kids would never move out.
So how are they going to "cure" food and water shortages, overcrowding and lack of jobs?
Imagine the 150 year old guy with his 80 year old trophy wife.
As a Cubs fan, this is great news. I may live to see a World Series won in Wrigley Field.
Since when is aging a sickness?
Most people waste the time they are given anyway.
Nature will step in and redress the imbalance with new diseases.
Longer life means more sin. This will make the devil happy.
Screw the 150 years. I've only been here 30 years and I'm already tired of the freak show.
Only the ultra-rich will be able to afford it.
If people could live to 1,000, the number one cause of death would be suicide. Imagine if you were going through a bad patch and it was going to last 125 years? Or life in prison with no possibility of parole?
Being the practical sort, my second thought was how in the heck will folks remember all their descendants' names and birthdays? Not to mention going broke buying presents for everyone. Websites like Ancestry.com will disappear when people can Skype with Great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great Granny. Funeral homes will go out of business because nobody will be dying to get in. And that old saying about nothing being certain but death and taxes will no longer be true.
Just because science can give us the means to fiddle with our bodies, doesn't mean we should.
Running a quart low,
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