I've been enjoying a new blog titled THE TWO YEAR ENGAGEMENT (An Unsuccessful Attempt at Planning a Wedding Without Going Crazy). It is written by a young lady I've known since she was a little girl. I love her enthusiasm and hope for her sake that any crazy that comes her way is the good, fun kind to have.
Reading Rachel's blog got me to thinking how things have changed in the 33 years since I was planning my own nuptials. Of course, a wedding is only as complicated as you make it, and more is not always better. I liken a big elaborate wedding to a car with every dealer upgrade imaginable; the more bells and whistles, the more stuff is going to break down. And no matter how organized and detailed and "on top of things" the bride and her mother are, those traits don't necessarily extend to the army of people paid or enslaved to help make a wedding happen. Take a gander below at this wedding day itinerary my young Aggie friend whomped together (see blog dated 10/21/13). It was included in the goodie bag (goodie bags! <smacks forehead>) we were given when we checked into the hotel:
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 30th
10:00 am Boys to arrive at Top Golf for golfing
11:00 am Bridesmaids to Presidential Suite (lunch will be provided)
12:00 pm Hair appointments begin for bride, bridesmaids, moms, flower girl and grandmothers
1:30 pm Groomsmen, ushers and father of the bride and groom to hotel to get ready, and gift exchange
2:15 pm Makeup appointments begin for bride, bridesmaids, moms, flower girl and grandmothers
4:15 pm Groom's immediate family to arrive at hotel for pre-ceremony pictures
4:30 pm All ladies' appointments finished
It went on in this fashion in 15 minute intervals until:
5:30 pm The shuttle bus and limo to arrive at hotel for transfer to the church (the limo service contact info was provided in case there was a problem, and there was a list of who rode in what vehicle)
5:45 pm Depart from hotel
7:30 pm Ceremony begins
8:30 pm Ceremony ends (here, there was a list of folks who were supposed to stay for photos)
8:50 pm Cocktail hour begins
9:45 pm Ballroom doors open, introductions, seated dinner and dance
1:15 am Bride and groom make their exit and reception concludes
Personally, I LOVED the itinerary. I suppose some people would think this a little over the top, but I thought it was a marvelous idea. Still and all, it got me to wondering what happens when a bride with even slight OCD tendencies chooses for her honor attendant a friend whose personal clock is permanently set to island time.
My honor attendant was actually my matron of honor. The only things I required of her, and she of me when I served as her maid of honor, were: a bridal shower, holding the bouquet during the vows, not losing the hubby-to-be's ring, straightening out the train for the recessional, and then general things like not tripping or fainting in front of the congregation. The best man had it even easier: don't lose the ring, and show up sober. (The same could also be said of the groom.) These days, it is appalling what some honor attendants are expected to do. One website I checked included helping to clean up the reception venue! That is taking the "maid" part way too seriously.
One aspect of Rachel's blog dealt with how she asked her attendants to be there for her on her special day. It seems modern brides decorate baskets or boxes and fill them with treats and small personal or wedding-related items. Here's Rachel's basket to her maid of honor:
If this had been the norm in 1980, I would have panicked because I cannot put something together in my head. I envy friends who can take an empty room and envision the possibilities; I just see an empty room. It's the same when I shop for clothes: I cannot pull a skirt from one rack, a blouse from another, a belt and scarf off a shelf, and voila! a fashionable ensemble. If being a bride had meant getting out the scissors and glue, I would have done what my practical father suggested: elope and then, with the money saved, put a down payment on a house. Fortunately, all I had to do was pick up the phone and ask. Cheap and easy, just like moi.
For years, magazines like Southern Living made ordinary housewives feel like colossal failures when their Thanksgiving table looked more like...
Then Martha Stewart came along to show us how we will never be better than her; I mean, the woman has spent time in prison, something I have not managed to do yet. Now we have the Internet to continue this tradition of failure AND overwhelm us with sheer numbers. The Internet, Pinterest specifically, is insidious because it tempts us with the notion that if we only look long enough (hours? days?), somewhere out there in the vast cyberverse is something better. We think: if this is good, then surely better is lurking around the corner. And then when we find better, surely there's mo' bettah. There are accounts of people who, in their quest for that perfect idea, have physically attacked their computers, circuits blown, and raving like loons. I know this to be true because it happened to me. You can download a video file of that awful day, but be forewarned, it is not a pretty sight:
I haven't been on Pinterest in a long while. The novelty quickly wore off, but not until I had created several boards, one with wedding ideas. What mother of a daughter hasn't dreamed of her little girl's wedding, even when the "bride" is sporting saggy diapers and a dirty face? Here are a few things I pinned to this board:
Yet, no matter how much things change from one generation to the next, there is one thing no bride can do without: the groom!
Love, honor and hot glue,
Table setting #1: http://www.theredneckhippie.com/2011_11_01_archive.html
Table setting #2: http://www.napkinwizard.com/2011/11/21/give-thanks-in-style-with-an-elegant-thanksgiving-table/
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